Today is the 28th of November and Ben is 8 months old. Today is also significant, because I'm planning to express for the last time.
When I first started expressing (when Ben was four weeks old), it was with the intention of stopping breast feeding. But then I figured it wasn't too bad and maybe I'd keep expressing to maintain my supply and perhaps I could try Ben at the breast again. I did try breastfeeding again - but without success. So I figured I could express for a while and keep feeding him my expressed milk from a bottle. This went well, so I decided I wanted to keep going until Ben was 6 months old. Then of course 6 months rolled around and I wasn't able to let go (letting down was no problem!).
But in the last month I've found expressing to be more and more of a chore. Ben is so much more awake and active. Gone are the days when I could sit him in one spot and talk to him while I was expressing. So I've been trying to express while he's asleep. This means I haven't been able to do other things - like have a shower. And so I made a decision to stop. This has been a really tough decision to make. I'm full of mixed emotions about it. I want to stop - so that I can get on and do other things. But I feel quite upset at the same time. I think because we had such a tough time with breast feeding and because it was so important to me, in addition to the fact that breast feeding is so driven by hormones, I'm actually quite teary about it. Also I think that I'm lucky to have been able to maintain a supply for 7 months and perhaps I should make the most of it and keep going. One good thing about this is that I've gained an increased understanding of the emotions involved in nurturing a child. Geez mothering is an emotional mine field!
Anyway, I'm stopping. And so I've been gradually reducing the volume that I express, and today I'm pretty sure will be the last time. So after 7 months, 3 hand pumps, 1 horrible electric pump, a bit of help from Matt, many hand expressions, and approximately 750 expression sessions in all; I'm saying good bye to the pump.
During this time I've expressed approximately 105 Litres of milk (almost twice my body weight). The total energy content of this milk is about 70350 calories. So, without taking into account the emotional energy involved, this is roughly equivalent to:
- walking briskly for 46 days, or
- chopping wood for 30 days, or
- throwing a frisbee for 60 days, or
- doing high impact aerobics for 18 days, or
- scooting around for 26 days on a pair of roller blades, or
- riding for 14 days in the Tour de France.
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